Forgiveness is one of the most difficult skills to conquer of all the types of behavior in mankind.

Next to judgementalness, it is the reason for more conflict and damage than any other. Often we think that hatred or anger is the most devastating emotion, however, anger and hatred come from one of the more core emotions; judgmentalness or unforgiveness.

Because of the way our minds are structured to respond to our environment, we tend to make logical decisions based on our emotional state.  When we are wronged, we feel the normal emotional response just like we would to any pain.  A kick in the knee brings pain and it subsides depending on the level of the pain.

Pain in our emotions also subsides, depending on the level of the event.   Since we are all individuals, we all have different ways of handling pain. Some people have more tolerance, some don’t.  That is just how it is.

A truth is:

Unforgiveness tops the list of harmful, even deadly emotions.  Without forgiveness, it’s impossible to be truly free from all forms of other residual thought patterns and behaviors.  When unforgiveness is present, we see all sorts of behaviors that seem unconnected yet are.  I’ll list a few here:

  • Procrastination
  • Unrelenting anger
  • Physical abuse – fighting
  • Verbal abuse
  • Controlling
  • High expectations
  • Inability to look at our own behavior
  • Sarcasm
  • Feelings of loneliness
  • Emptiness
  • Anger
  • Blaming

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it does show how other behaviors are related to unforgiveness.  There are other emotions also related to those listed above, such as shame and judgmentalness.Defining unforgiveness is not easy.  Most people feel that they can’t forget and therefore they struggle with a definition.

Work toward forgiveness. Always move toward understanding and caring when it comes to others.